"and it is not simply what one remembers, or why, but what to do with what one remembers, which of the scattered pieces to carry forward, what to protect and preserve, what to leave behind."
- camilla gibb
i want real. i need real. time as it passes without a clock, as the light changes every week, as my kids turn to mercury in this new climate, as i feel our summer on the coast of my childhood, on our skin, taking place, washing away. film is to me, the kind of velveteen rabbit real for which i have been been rooting. pictures are magic again. in the open way we so often shed at about seven years old. it is physical, it is soulful, there is a price, a wait, patience. it is life. and then this joy of picking up a phone to freeze the freedom i can never seem to keep for long. this phone which drives me mad, has taken me away too much from life which wants to fold me in. we have reconciled. and i love making these pictures along side living this life. natural and wild and outside the box i have so happily thrown out. pictures that happen when i have finally stopped thinking about pictures.
this summer is on the verge of so much. this summer forming the curving arc of a question mark. this precious, tender, worried, close, happy thing. this summer in which my eyes blink like shutters, my pupils are wired to my heart, where light and dark and fear and hope react. and i want to be fast when i do. fast then careful. i don't know the ending. i don't know where our home will be this fall, the roof under which we will write our histories, the place where roots will be laid. but i will make a map of the instincts we acted out, the light under which we swam and played and watched, the memories in layers. pictures we can drop along our path. a sequence that will make emotional sense. the illustrations the kid in me needs to see in the book.
i will feel them. the way i need to feel every photo. the way we all can.
(each of these images was taken on my iphone. please, join me on instagram, if you haven’t found your way to it already. i find it to be a reminder to really see, to find the joy in every frame, to make pictures without living to make them... @_amy_grace )