life lights the way, meets you where you are, and lifts you up if you so allow it. little about mine has been linear, painless, or taken for granted. still, sometimes i spend so much time seeing what i want our lives to be, the ways i need to be better, that my eyes are too cloudy to see what is in plain sight.
there are so many places i want to take a camera. there are so many things i have to learn about taking pictures. i seem to study things for three minutes at a time, a hundred times, before the beginnings really start to sink in. and i feel tired of myself, put on pause too often, wanting always to be more or different. life is choppy, it is interrupted, it is frustrating, it is glorious. when i watch these kids, the pressure of everything eases, the light comes spilling in, the water runs clear, and i am new. i want them to feel a mother's love which is spontaneous, natural, and without qualification. i want them to know that life is not staged with perfect light and timing, and that they are not props. knowing them should shape my vision of what moments to suspend. their lives are not a stage for photographs...photographs are a window for our love. i want them to see me forgiving myself, and crazy for them, as they are. these pictures were taken as an afterthought. the joy came first. i am so glad i ran inside to get my camera, but i am glad they had me there without it first. i want scenes like this to come back to them, like a memory on their skin. i want it to feel as real as it was. i want to see as clearly as this.
the eye we start with is the one inside of us. the light there is magic, and it is a good place to start.