"don't cry because it's over. smile because it happened."
- dr. suess
i am not feeling ready for the waning days, the fuller schedules, the punctuated time, the interruptions to daydreams. the late nights, the time spent with the people who equal love, the excursions, the long, languid days are all part of the story of our summer. i will miss the pull of the tide against our feet, growing roots in the sand. i will miss the slowness, lapping softly against my heart. time can be a train we race against or a blanket of growing memories. i felt it both ways this summer. for all the times i picked up my camera, there were a hundred when i just let it sit. my eyes recorded so many of the moments, straight to memory. and i am not sorry for this. it allowed me to steep in the stillness, live it, so i knew how important it was to our life, our hearts, our becoming.
seeing my kids be loved by my parents, might be the most touching thing i have ever felt. each set of these souls is a bookend, keeping me steady, driven, devoted. we traveled to them, to the other coast, and the kids fell in love under the heavy salt air, just as my brother and i had done year after year. their hair curled in ways i had never seen, their skin glowed from happiness, their voices made the sweetest chorus, for us all to share. i saw them walking the same paths as we did, like it was yesterday. sometimes, like we were parallel in our childhoods. the circle is full and moving like a chain that turns. looking at these pictures of them is like seeing a frozen frame from a movie reel. one of the wonderful things about my kids is though they are always moving, there is a stillness about them, a peace. to capture both things, simultaneously, is the only thing that is true.
i miss the days like this already, spent together in the heat, the sand, the water, the quiet. the color of them runs through me, liquid and soft. it has carved out a smooth path through my heart. i think of all the many mothers and children and families, the long, sweet days, and the cameras that captured them. and my heart swells with longing.